Amazing! Shocking! Could be True!!!! Breaking News To Titillate The Masses

Good Weather Causing Trauma Across Ireland

In Weather on May 31, 2009 at 11:25 am

 As temperatures soar and the sun blazes down across the country, there are signs of growing trauma among a population more used to driving rain, damp fog, and chilly winds. Reports are filtering in of people losing the run of themselves, showing far too much good cheer in these recessionary times, and even of some wearing short trousers and floral-pattern shirts.

“I sure hope this good weather doesn’t last long,” said one disgruntled citizen, hiding in the shade of her farmhouse and shielding her eyes against the unaccustomed glare of the bright sky. “My uncle is threatening to drive the Massey-Ferguson to the beach, my cousin has bought a trendy pair of sunglasses, and my nephew smiled for the first time in two years. It’s unseemly.”

Other reports are coming in across the country indicating mental disturbance: people buying sunscreen and plastic buckets and spades, eating ice cream in public, laughing loudly for no good reason, barbecuing without umbrellas, going hillwalking without bringing rain gear “just in case,” looking at convertibles in auto dealerships, and even of people being jocular with Fianna Fáil and Green Party candidates on their doorsteps.

“If this weather continues,” says one psychologist, who hasn’t seen a client since the good weather hit, “we could become a fit, suntanned, happy, content, well-adjusted set of people. It’s really disturbing. Luckily, however, there is rain forecast for Thursday.”

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