Irish pigs are said to be on the verge of revolt with the announcement of a second swine flu confirmation in Ireland. Pig farmers and pork suppliers fear the worst as ripples of unrest sweep through Irish styes, and rasher lovers across the county are worried pork supplies could be at risk.
“My pigs haven’t been right since the radio in the barn covered the first case of swine flu,” said a farmer close to the DisPatch. “Mind you, they were already angry about the dioxins, but being blamed for a worldwide flu epidemic has made them really mad. I can’t enter the pens anymore for fear of being bumped, trodden or nipped. I’m dreading feeding them in the morning.”
A pig whisperer, brought in to try to mediate says it’s simply a matter of fairness and that the epithet “swine” is deeply hurtful to more sensitive beasts. Horses, cows, and sheep are treated with more respect, the pigs say, and only chickens have also been blamed for a flu outbreak, but the pigs claim chickens are feathery animals with very small brains.
“It’s possible to work through this,” the whisperer said, “but it will take great care. They are emotionally scarred. Even whispering sets them on edge. I call on the government to rename the flu and to mount a campaign to bring a bit of pride and dignity back to Irish pigs.”
